thanksgiving:.:tomorrow

We are having our Thanksgiving tomorrow and honestly, I'm kinda not looking forward to it. D's time home has seemed to fly by us. We've had so much fun after we left the airport and that mess. But the big hoopla tomorrow is going to be bittersweet, not only does it signal D leaving but MRG also. I miss my big family back home so much and T and C and all the nuttiness that is those babes. G and N will be here soon, that brings a whole new happiness and a different sadness in that D won't be here. He loves them all so much. D loves his job so much and he doesn't see all this negativeness that I do. I know tomorrow is going to be alot of fun but I can't help the sadness that comes. I love my family and I miss them.
Also on Sunday a very important thing is happening and Beth and Pat aren't going to be there. It kills me...I have all these happy things that are coming my way and time and time again the Devil pushes the pain and sadness at me. I feel like I am already so strong that I don't want to be stronger. There are these weights, so so many things that are on my chest. Stupid things that should jsut go away...I just can't find that strength. I wish that I could take some of that AF wife pride and strength and put it towards those heavy heart things. && brown water, serioulsy almost not see thru brown, is coming out of my faucets...what the heck serioulsy! Our lives have been this way since we moved here...the Devil needs to let up on me