wonderful chaotic and full

life is wonderful, chaotic, full, and sad all at the same time. we are so BLESSED, so blessed with everything WE have worked for. we have so much that we say thank you for, we are so strong because we did it on our own. we have had help with a few things, sometimes i wish more, we could have survived without our gifts. (except the fence a wonderful set of grandparents bought us) i mean really at 23 i was signing papers to a brand new house, with an acre of land. we drive two very nice cars and we wear very nice clothes. (really DWG has nice clothes he just chooses to "save" them) yet I feel "jealous" because it seems like everyone around us has it so easy. I know that looks can be decieving, look at us we are happy and perfect on the outside but hurt so very bad on the inside. everything we do is with blood sweat and tears. we're still trying to make our house perfect. somedays i wish i could catch a break and hold someone's hand as i'm wisked through this wonderful, chaotic, full, and blessed life. I got sad news this morning, we will recover, we always do. and with this sadness i was reminded to remember how blessed i am, not to be jealous, and i was shown that i AM getting whisked through life with my hand held and that knowing one day i will be with My Lord, My Savior in the glorious wonderful Kingdom of Heaven for all of eternity, i stop and realize that i have more than can ever be gifted to me by someone here on earth and for that I am the most blessed.