pieces and pearls

the past few weeks have been some of the hardest. i never knew that i could be so crazy during a stateside, semi-short tdy, but I have. the past few days have been the worst. it's like all of a sudden the string snaps and the pearls go flying everywhere. in 2005 my beloved great grandma was slowly leaving this earth in her home, i was 22. she loved to wear fake pearls. she had a strand that almost reached my feet, and after sitting with her for a bit i saw them and put them on. i needed some air so i went downstairs. as the elevator door opened and i stepped off the elevaor on the third floor the stand of pearls snapped. they flew everywhere. as i sobbed i got on my hands and knees and gathered every single one of those peals and carried them back to her apartment in my t-shirt. my grandma stuck them in a ziplock and i never saw them again. until 2006 when i opened a box and there was a strand of pearls, beautifuly tied togehter with matching earrings and two bracelets. my mom had picked up my pieces and not only shared the happiness with me but with my maid of honor and my flower girls. all the pieces came togehter at my wedding. right now the pieces feel like they are still being painstaking picked up and put in my shirt but soon i know they will come togehter and make a beautiful ending.

it's been forever

It really kinda has been forever since I've written a blog. I have my reasons. Life is good, I am blessed. It's been cool here. Work and school have me super busy, DWG learned how to put his laundry away. He's been so good to help me, I feel bad to ask him to help he works so hard. Did a breast cancer walk today, it was alot of fun. I have a new dr, exciting. My 26year old cousin passed away. That was hard, funeral was today. Besides DWG my support system was all there, super hard. My new floors are in my house YAY! Talked to my best girl a little bit ago and she's coming to visit, it feels like it's been forever since I've seen her. We went to Tulsa and saw the most amazing cakes and the cutest little meat goat sleeping in his food dish. Papa had surgery, that makes my stomach turn. My eyes have been open for 18 hours, I'm off to bed.

he's home (again)

DWG made it home at 630 yesterday morning (well it was 6am but when he moved my truck out of the middle of the driveway it was on E so he filled it up) (ya we're 15mins from a gas station that's open after 6pm) I so love it when he comes home, everything feels almost just right. Hopefully this is his last trip for awhile, but the thought never leaves my mind. Live everyday likes he deploys tomorrow.
In other news I got a new fertility dr and while I have to wait a whole month to see her, I think she's my answer! I have such renewed hope that we have someone like her in our corner. She was not the dr tht I asked for and i was quite ticked when I heard that I got her instead of the fancy dr I wanted. God sent her and her nurse B to me. She 's awaiting the arrival of my records but from what her and I already talked about a simple insemination procedure called an IUI seems to be our future. All an IUI is is a little help. It's nothing funky or weird. I have prayed and done my reasearch and I believe that this is the answer. Most everyone is just thankful that we have a light at the end of this long and painful tunnel. Others are not happy and that's ok. We are all entilied to our opinions and it will not make me think twice about any of this.
Somedays I wished I'd have become a dr, a dr to cure diabeties, PCOS, breast cancer, childhood lukemia. I may not ever come up with a medical cure for anything of these things but I do have an answer. God.