Day 2 actually and from the way people are talking there's going to be a day 3...the good news is, I have gotten so much done! I've got new weekly goals and a 6 month goal. I have lost so much weight and it feels so good. The snow days have let me work out 2 times a day plus the "manual" labor or hanging everything on the walls that is sitting on the floor. I've got my curtains hemmed, my yoga stuff ordered, my life in order really and it feels great! Right before Christmas in a book I was reading the author quoted scripture. Part of that scripture God was saying that too often we lean our "family" members for satisfaction and happiness. and that's wrong, that is what He is for. With that and the cleansing I have done the past few days I've come to see that just because you try and work at a relationship doesn't mean that it will blossom into what you want. After years I accept this and know that God will guide when it's time, if it's ever time. It along with all the other things I have put into place has brought me relief, a de-stressing. No more heartache for me!!! oh ya and D sent me a box!!! I love him so much and I'm ready for him to be home!
There are so many things going on right now. I honestly can't account for where 50% of my time has gone. It's frustrating because there are so many things to do on my lists, i even have lists to remember my lists. And then there's the little petty things that sometimes I get so wrapped up in and really it's frustration for nothing. Like rude people and my broken nail and now my cracked nail and the groomer will not be flexible to work about my plans for the day and me being "sick" right now...on and on. As I sat there ready to reach through the phone and choke the groomer I suddenly got sick to my stomach, Karen just lost her 37 year old husband, suddenly. And here I am ticked at the groomer and the nail lady and random strangers. I feel guilty that even though it may be once a week I get to hear my husband's voice and that I will get i love you cards and my gosh I know better. I am thankfully for all of the things that I have and I will never forget that. If I get lost in myself I will never be able to complete the good that I was put here to do. So after my cry is done :) I'm going to go package up my boxes to send to everyone, make some sweet notes, and reach out to two someones who need my sympathy more than I do.